The Good Therapist, Part 1

There are so many good things, and we talked about them in session. I talked about them. I wanted to tell her. I needed her to stop asking if something was a deal-breaker. If I could work with her human and imperfect self. I didn’t want to hear T’s uncertainty, because uncertainty is a crack. A place to break apart. Yes, I think, I may have a hard time trusting. But I do trust you. I don’t think you are holding out. I don’t think you are sugar-coating or feeding me bullshit. I believe you.

I made a choice to not put thoughts or feelings into T’s head. I made a choice to be the most open, most truthful and most vulnerable I have ever been. Choices. T has made it easier than it’s ever been before. I’m not saying it’s easy, but it feels safe.

When I hear that uncertainty, it makes me wince and I think, you don’t know how much I have worked to be able to meet you. I have worked so hard. I have been through so much with other therapists. I have been looking for you, and now, it seems, is the time. I don’t want to let go of this. Of the potential you offer. Of you.

The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them. - Ernest Hemingway