"Late" Is Just A Perception

I show up for my session 10 minutes early, so I wait. And wait. And wait. At fifteen minutes past our scheduled time, I've been waiting 25 minutes.

It was just last session I told T I don't like it when she's late. But, I knew she'd be late - she always is. Still, I'd told her, I especially don't like when we start ten minutes after the hour. Yes, I believed she would show up. Yes, I know she said she'd give me my time. But I didn't like it.

So, today I am waiting. She's never been 15 minutes late. I feel myself abandoned, sliding into despair. Angry. Why won't she get here on time? Anxious. Has she forgotten me? Uncertain. Is it the wrong day? The wrong time? I checked the cracks in my mind. No, I am right. T is fucking up, big time.

I start to feel tears forming under my skin. Start to breathe irregularly. I hold my breath.

Again, I think it through. What day is it? Tuesday, I'm pretty sure. What time is my session on Tuesday? My session is at 11:00. Crap. I arrived at 10:20.

 T shows up at 11:05 - "on time."

Hello, she says.
I smile and try to behave like a sane person.