Life is Fragile, Too

I was just boarding a plane to go visit my sister for a few days when I received the text.  My step-father had been taken back to the hospital, to the ICU. His oxygenation was too low. As I wrangled luggage and found seat 17F, I felt my heart beating like a base drum. Settling into my seat, I looked out the cold window and felt tears welling.

When Mom was put on oxygen two years ago, it was the start of her death march. Learning Ray was on a cpap in the ICU was almost déjà vu. Except it was really happening. The same hospital, the same floor, the same month, the same distress.

Breathing. Breathe. Breath. Gone.

No. Not today. Ray is off the cpap now. I needn’t doom him to the same fate as my mom. Different situation, different outcome. Hopefully.

So much depends on breathing. Inhale – I feel my lungs filling, expanding. Exhale – lungs deflate, shoulders sag. Breathe. Right now it is what maintains my sanity.

Breathing in, I calm body and mind. Breathing out, I smile. Dwelling in the present moment I know this is the only moment.  - Thích Nhất Hạnh, Being Peace

Now. This moment.