How Are You?

How are you?  Oh, not so great. Been really depressed lately.

And with that, the questioner averts her eyes and quickly changes the subject. How ‘bout them Yankees?

I loathe “how are you?” because the expected response is “oh, fine – and you?”. I hate lying, and I have trouble discerning when someone truly wants to know how I’m doing. Even when you know they do care and want a truthful answer… how to respond if you can’t just say Fine?

Well, my wife and I had an argument before even getting out of bed and then I spilled the coffee grounds while I was trying to make her coffee as a way to make up and the dogs were frantically barking because they knew something was wrong and they were driving me crazy and then it is so freaking cold outside it makes me want to cry just to step outside and my therapist cancelled my appointment right before going on a two week vacation and I just got a text that I’m overdrawn at the bank. Oh, and I have to go to a company dinner but I don’t have anything to wear and I feel so fat and I don’t like those people anyway and my medication isn’t working but my doctor won’t return my phone calls so I decided to stop taking it and I don’t think that was such a good idea because now I’m feeling depressed and all the stress is making me break out in hives and I get so anxious and despairing that sometimes all I can think about is getting drunk or killing myself. But I’m fine. How are you?

Please don’t ask how I’m doing. Until I change my name to Pollyanna, don’t ask.

The game was to just find something about everything to be glad about—no matter what 'twas.  - Eleanor H. Porter, Pollyanna

So, how are you?