Honesty in Therapy

I am doing therapy differently with my new therapist. I didn’t go into it with this in mind, but the change is happening. I like it.

In the beginning, I extracted her promise, and gave mine, that each of us would be honest. Though I didn’t realize it, I meant honesty lite. I won’t say I hate chocolate if offered a Hershey bar. I won’t create an excuse for declining. That’s being honest, right?

As T continues to embrace me with her non-judgmental comments, questions, responses, facial expressions and body language, I am becoming secure in a way I don’t remember experiencing before. To me it is a gift, and the proper thank-you is to give back without judging her. Every time I begin to put thoughts into her mind or feelings in her heart, I am saying I know what she thinks and feels. I am judging her character and making it a reflection of my own insecurities.

My acceptance of her gift is honesty. I will not let uncertainty fester between us. Not even little ones. I will ask. I will clarify. I will tell. Maybe not all at once or immediately or fully. But it is my promise: the full version of honesty.

And truly, my honesty is a gift to myself.

Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for the Truth.  - Benjamin Disraeli

We tell lies when we are afraid….afraid of what we don’t know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us. But every time we tell a lie, the thing that we fear grows stronger.  - Tad Williams

Honesty and transparency make you vulnerable. Be honest and transparent anyway.  - Mother Teresa

Ask it, tell it, give it -